Thursday, September 30, 2010


Howdy! Sorry for the long period you had to survive without a blog to read (at least one written by me). I know the wait must have been unbearable. Anyway, I am back to let you know, as the title may suggest, that I am still very much alive.

"What have I been up to?" you might have asked. Well Mr. Smart Mouth, I have been writing blogs. "How could this be? I haven't seen or read your blogs on here for millions of years, possibly more." Well, I have been ghost writing blogs for my dog, Angel Zoom Smokey, on Maybe I shouldn't say "ghost writing" since it's more like "dog writing". Anyway, I've been writing on that site for a couple of months. You should check out Angel's blogs. They are filled with my trademark humor, though, I'm not sure that is such a good thing.

Well, I better be going. I will try to keep you more up to date in the future. Thank you for stopping by and I hope you all have a good day! :)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Congratulations Andrew Garfield aka Peter Parker/Spider-Man

Hello all you friendly neighborhood Spider-Men and Spider-Women! I'm back with a brand new blog post! As you can tell from the photo, today's blog is about Spider-Man! Yah! Also, I picked this photo because if you pay close attention and imagine Green Goblin is Sony's CEO, you will have an idea of what Sony/Green Goblin is doing to the Spider-Man franchise as we speak. Let's just say Spider-Man isn't too happy that Green Goblin didn't bring any KY jelly with him during this franchise talk.

If you couldn't tell, I hate this whole reboot craze in Hollywood. Spider-Man isn't even a ten year old movie and Sony is already rebooting it despite the fact that the film has spawned two highly successful sequels and the franchise as a whole has made more than a billion dollars worldwide. Why the rush to reboot it? Well, to save money of course! Sony figures that they can make a reboot at a fraction of the cost of a sequel and slap the new "Spider-Man" on it and everyone will still rush to see it. Maybe I'm wrong, but I smell a major bomb on Sony's hands.

Regardless of how much I hate the concept of a reboot, I would like to congratulate Andrew Garfield, the actor chosen to play the new Spider-Man. The guy has his work cut out for him so my hat's off to him. He seems like a good choice to play Peter Parker. Judging from his last name, my guess is that his dream job was to play Garfield the cat and since that is never going to happen (since he is sadly not a cat), he had to settle for Spider-Man. Also, judging from his long neck, I would say that he might be part giraffe, which makes him part alright in my book. :-P Nah, joking aside, I wish the guy luck.

I hope you enjoyed the blog today! I also hope you have a wonderful day! Till next time...

Oh the Horror!!!

Hello again everyone! I'm back with a brand new blog! Stop crying! I promise it's not that bad this time. I think you might even chuckle a little this time.
Anyway, as a huge movie buff, let me tell you that I am not a fan of most horror movies. First of all, I don't find most of them to be all that frightening. If I want to watch something scary, I'll watch one of Larry the Cable Guy's films. If "Delta Farce" doesn't scare the piss out of you, nothing will. Second of all, I find the main characters of most horror movies to be incredibly boring. Sure, there are a few exceptions, but for the most part these unstoppable antagonists are just not interesting and only seem to kill because...well...that's what horror villains do. Some of these horror franchises have tried to tell the "origin" of these famous monsters through various prequels and/or reboots, but none of these origin stories have really sold me. Rob Zombie's "Halloween" was alright, but not great. I have heard (but haven't seen for myself) that the remakes of "Friday the 13th" and "A Nightmare on Elm Street" were far worse than Rob Zombie's "Halloween", which is not something to be proud of.
This has led me to wonder, could I write a worthy origin story to one of these horror franchises? I don't like to be one of those kinds of people who criticize other people's work without creating something special myself. Which franchise should I pick to work on? If you couldn't tell by the photo, I am going to go with the "Friday the 13th" franchise. I hope you enjoy the Jeffrey Stansberry version of the origin of Jason Voorhees! Here is the synopsis:
"Jason Voorhees was the typical seven foot tall, mute, and deformed six year old living the all American dream with his mother, Pamela Voorhees. Pamela Voorhees was the typical cook, psycho, killer, and single mother also living the American dream. Fate changed their lives forever when Pamela Voorhees accepted her dream job of becoming a cook earning minimum wage at Camp Crystal Lake. Naturally, Jason Voorhees was thrilled at the prospect of playing ice hockey with the other seven foot tall, mute, and deformed kids at Camp Crystal Lake. Unfortunately for poor little seven foot tall Jason, all the other children at Camp Crystal Lake were tiny and too delicate to play ice hockey with him (some of the other six year old children were barely over six feet tall). With his mother busy preparing her world famous lard Hot Pockets for the lucky campers and no other seven foot tall children around to play with, Jason Voorhees decided to forget about his hobby of hockey and focus on his dreams of ice tap dancing, a new spin on ice skating. On a cold and stormy night, Jason Voorhees decided to sneak out of his cabin and practice ice tap dancing on Crystal Lake. Tragically, due to his height, weight and the fact that the lake was not even frozen because it was summer, Jason Voorhees drowned to death. Pamela Voorhees blamed herself for Jason's drowning and wondered to herself if her son might still be alive if he had only worn his hockey mask. With that thought alone, Pamela Voorhees made it clear to the world that she wasn't Albert Einstein, or even Forrest Gump for that matter. Still, her love for her son and her lust for human blood drove her mad. Pamela Voorhees attacked and tried to murder everyone she felt was connected to her son's death, starting with Kevin Bacon, because as we all know, Kevin Bacon is connected to everyone in Hollywood through six degrees or less. Plus, Kevin Bacon was a camp counselor, and Pamela Voorhees didn't often see eye to eye with any form of counselor. She did see knife to back with them many times though. After killing, um, let's say seven camp counselors (because seven is a lucky number), Pamela's bloody rampage was finally ended by camp counselor Alice I. Wonderland. Alice decapitated Pamela, mainly to tell a lame joke. "You keep killing all of my friends and head's will roll b*tch!" was the joke told by Alice. Meanwhile, at the Legion of Doom, Jason Voorhees had been resurrected by the magical powers of the lake. As it turns out, Crystal Lake got it's name due to the fact that it was 84% Crystal Pepsi. (Crystal Pepsi tasted so bad, it could literally wake the dead). Waking up at the bottom of the ocean, Jason Voorhees met the mysterious Lady of the Water from the King Arthur stories. The Lady of the Water knighted Jason Voorhees and handed him the magical Excalibur, which for some reason looked exactly like a machete. Sir Jason Voorhees quickly killed the Lady of the Water with Excalibur and headed back to the camp. Before coming ashore, he met a Lady in the Water who looked surprisingly like Bryce Dallas Howard. Jason Voorhees quickly got her autograph and flirted with her a bit before Bryce Dallas Mermaid gave him her digits. After Jason got her phone number, he quickly killed her (what did you expect?) and was extremely happy not only for killing her, but because the autograph in his hand was now worth a lot more on E-Bay. Long story short, Jason Voorhees came back to shore and quickly killed Alice right after seeing her naked. After that, Jason Voorhees collapsed on the ground and started crying. He quietly reflected on his relationship with women and decided to change his life for the better. Jason called his mom up to see how she was doing. As it turns out, Pamela Voorhees' head was enjoying the warm weather of Hell, Michigan and the two made plans to meet in order to reconnect. The film ends with The Beatles' "Let It Be" playing softly in the background as Jason Voorhees watches a cute little kitten clean herself with her paws. The end."
So, yeah, that was my prequel/remake idea. I think it is incredible. I think the ending will leave the audience in tears. Anyway, now that I have shared this masterpiece of an idea, I better head off to bed. have a good night everyone and take care!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Blogging in the Season of Peanut Butter Jelly Time

Hello everyone, do you know what time it is? It's peanut butter jelly time!!! Okay, I got that out of my system and I can move on to the day's real subject, blogging.

Now, I know what you all are thinking, "Jeffrey, you are one of the world's greatest bloggers (if not the best of the best)." Thank you for thinking that even though it is common knowledge. Anyway, a few years ago I probably would have been mad at you for saying that. Why you might ask? You see, back in the good old days, I had no idea what a blog was. I had heard some mumblings and rumors from other members of the rebel alliance, but the Imperial fleet kept a pretty tight lid on the secrets of the blogging world. Luke, Leia, Han, Lando, Chewie, C-3PO, R2-D2, and some furry ewoks helped blokes like me finally discover the blogging world by blowing up the second Death Star. Wait...that was "Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi". Ewoks aside, that was a great movie! :) Anyway...oh yeah! A few years ago I had no idea what blogging was. To me, even now, blogging sounds like something someone would do for you for about $25 in the parking lot of a White Castle. I think you know what I mean, and if you don't, good for you! :) To be fair, the same could be said for Twitter. "I just looked up your twitter information" just does not, and never will, sound right. That's just me though.

Do I enjoy writing a blog now? Sure...I don't mind. It's actually kind of fun at times. My biggest problem is coming up with subjects, hence the blog about blogging. lol :-P Seriously though, it's a fun way to express myself while giving the world a taste of my insanity! What a delight for you!!! :-P

Well, I better be heading off to bed. Take care cruel Internet world. I look forward to reading more hateful comments on you tomorrow! Seriously, good night and thank you for reading my blog. :)

Friday, June 25, 2010

Batman vs. Superman: I Know Who I'm Betting On!

I wish I could sleep. I'm not sure why, but I just can not sleep tonight. The worst part is, I know that when I finally do get some sleep, I'll have to wake up before I'll want to wake up. Oh well, I guess there are worse fates out there and luckily for you loyal readers, I'm up to write! Yah!

My first thought today is on the subject of light bulbs. I have bought a ton of these bad boys to place on top of my head and I have yet to get a genius idea. I've tried and tried and tried. I can't even get the bulbs to light up like they do in the cartoons! Oh well, that's what I get for buying Acme bulbs I guess. :-P

Secondly, why does everyone wonder who would win in a fight between Superman and Batman? Superman would clearly wipe the floor with Batman in about two seconds flat. Now don't get me wrong, I like Batman. What's not to like about a forty-something year old guy who runs around in tights and lives with a teenage boy who isn't his son named Dick? Wait a know, if Batman had bat nipples on his costume, I'd seriously wonder about which league the Dark Knight plays for if you get my drift. Oh no...I just remembered "Batman & Robin"! Seriously though, was I the only who felt that "Batman & Robin" got more of it's source material from "The Ambiguously Gay Duo" than it did from Batman comics? Anyway, back to my point, I have heard several charming theories involving how Batman could actually win in a fight against Superman. One theory, that Batman would fight dirty against Superman and use kryptonite, isn't beyond belief at all. The problem I have with this theory is that all Superman would have to do is fly like a mile up in the air, far away from the kryptonite, and melt the Batman with his laser eyes. I'm just saying that it seems like a pretty one sided fight even if you like the Caped Crusader better than the Man of Steel.
Well, this was a pointless blog so I better try and get some sleep. lol Take care everyone and be safe!

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Comic Con, Purple Rose, Gentle Giants, Lost, and Entertainment Weekly

Hello again everyone! It's me, your friendly neighborhood...wait, I'm not Spider-Man! Sorry for misleading you, I'm actually just a guy named Jeff (or the Jeffster to my imaginary friends). I hope all my readers have enjoyed my past couple of posts, I know the voices in my head did! I'm just joking of course, the voices in my head don't actually care much for my work. :-P

A couple of weeks ago I went to the Motor City Comic Con and had a very nice time. I got to meet Marina Sirtis who played Deanna Troi in "Star Trek: The Next Generation", "Star Trek: Generations", "Star Trek: First Contact", "Star Trek: Insurrection", and "Star Trek: Nemesis". She was very nice and extremely kind. I also got a chance to meet Byron Cherry who played the "replacement Duke" Coy Duke on "The Dukes of Hazzard". He was also very nice and seemed like a very down to Earth guy, which is always nice. Being the movie lover I am, I also picked up some free mini movie posters and other such things there at the con. I had a very nice time and I look forward to going there next year (short of something happening, which in my case, is always possible). lol The only disappointment I had was not being able to get an autograph from Adam West because he wanted $60 and I didn't have much money this year. I've met Burt Ward and Julie Newmar before. Burt Ward is a very caring and loving dog person. He runs a dog rescue, Gentle Giants Rescue and Adoption, which is aimed at helping and finding homes for giant breed dogs such as Great Danes, but it also handles some smaller breed dogs as well. If you love larger breed dogs, be sure to check out his website, which is If you ever have the pleasure of meeting him and you love dogs, be sure to let him know how much you appreciate what he and his wife do.

Also, like many of you out there in cyberspace, I got a chance to catch the final episode of the ABC hit show "Lost". Now, without going into spoilers, this is an episode that seems to have really divided people. People seem to love it or hate it. I personally liked the episode a great deal and I'm not ashamed to say that the ending had me in tears. I may be a man, but that was some mighty fine writing and acting! Yes, there were some questions that never got answered, and that did annoy me a bit, but "Lost" has always been more about the journey than the destination. I think, for better or worse, the writers may have wanted some questions left unanswered because that happens in life as well. It might have been nice if "Lost" had given us every single answer to every single question we had, but perhaps it is better this way. Some of the remaining mysteries are still left up to the fans and viewers to think about and interpret. Plus, in the case of "Lost", I watched the show more for the characters than for the mysteries anyway. The final episode was such a touching send off for the characters that I am not sure I would have wanted it any other way. So, while I admit the ending wasn't perfect, it's also hard to find an ending that is. That's all I have to say on that matter.

I would also like to take this time to address Michigan's Purple Rose Theater Company. If you live in or around Chelsea, Michigan (or if you go on a trip near there sometime soon), be sure to check out a show at the Purple Rose Theater. The Purple Rose Theater was founded in 1991 by Chelsea native Jeff Daniels and the Purple Rose Theater has become a second home to tons of local talent. Tickets range in price from $25-$38 a person. Also, if you can't afford the tickets (I know it's hard in this economy) or if you live too far away, you can rent or buy two films by Purple Rose Productions, "Escanaba in da Moonlight" and "Super Sucker" which are both available on DVD. Amazon has both films for $9.99 each.

Okay, I would also like to address something that has bothered me quite a bit over the last couple of days, the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly. Entertainment Weekly had a special double issue this week dedicated to the 100 greatest characters of the last 20 years. I could understand a lot of their choices. Dexter Morgan, Homer Simpson, Captain Jack Sparrow, John Locke, The Joker, Tony Stark/Iron Man, Gollum, Stewie Griffin, Borat, and Kara "Starbuck" Thrace are all great characters featured in movies, television, or books over the last 20 years, I have no bone to pick with them on those choices. What I am upset over is the characters they overlooked. Why no love for Indiana Jones? He was in "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull". Even the people who hated that movie still enjoyed seeing Harrison Ford again grace the screen as Indy. Why no Clark Kent/Superman? Superman has his own comic series for starters. Superman was also been the main character of the blockbuster film "Superman Returns" and the CW series "Smallville", not to mention the popular "Superman: The Animated Series". Do I even need to go into the hugely popular "Death of Superman" comic arc in 1992? Also, why can only one character from a series be one of the greatest characters ever? Why can't Bruce Wayne/Batman make the list just because The Joker made the list? Batman, like Superman, has his own comic book series. Also, like Superman, he has been featured in blockbuster films such as "Batman Returns", "Batman Forever", "Batman & Robin", "Batman Begins", and "The Dark Knight" in addition to "Batman: The Animated Series" television show. In addition to leaving characters such as Clark Kent/Superman, Bruce Wayne/Batman, and Indiana Jones off their list, the list also left out characters such as James T. Kirk, Peter Parker/Spider-Man, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Bruce Banner/The Hulk, Rocky Balboa, William Adama, Neo, Michael Scott, Yoda, Spock, Freddy Krueger, Jack Shepherd, Jean-Luc Picard, Optimus Prime, Rambo, Brisco County, Jr., Frodo Baggins, James "Sawyer" Ford, Aragorn, Data, Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader, Tommy Gavin, Al Bundy, Logan/Wolverine, President Josiah Bartlet, Crow T. Robot, Robin Hood, Speed Racer, James Bond, Tom Servo, Daisy Duke, Seven of Nine, Adrian Monk and many, many more. Only half of the characters deserved to be on that list.

I am also sad to see that both Gary Coleman and Dennis Hopper have passed away. I hope they find peace in the afterlife. At least their legacy will continue to live on and be enjoyed by future generations as well.

Well, I better call it a night soon. I have a big day of nothing tomorrow! :-P Take care everyone and have a great day! :)

Monday, May 10, 2010

Cough Drops

Okay, it's me again. I usually have a long introduction about now but I thought I should just cut to the chase with this blog post. And the chase that I am cutting to isn't Chevy (the actor, not the Chevrolet nickname), it's the fact that the makers of cough drops hate their customers.

Seriously folks, I freaking hate the taste of most cough drops. I think Halls is about the only brand that makes cough drops that taste alright. Okay, the problem here is that the other day I ran out of Halls cough drops and all I had around the house was Meijer brand "strawberry" cough drops. The problem is that those cough drops didn't even remotely taste like strawberries. No, it tasted more like raw old fish. Now, I understand that cough drops can't always taste good because if they tasted too good, they probably wouldn't be too effective. Still, why lie and say it is strawberry flavored when it is old fish flavored. You know, it might actually taste like sweaty arm pits now that I think about it. Talk about false advertising.

Well, I better get going so I get pop some more delicious cough drops. Take care everyone and be safe!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

At the Movies...

Hello everyone out there in cyber space! That means you, me, and last but not least, Max Headroom. I am pretty sure Neo, Tamara Adama, Tron, and the Lawnmower Man (among others) will be reading this as well since they live in all of our computers. Maybe Pamela Anderson lives in a computer as well, that would explain all the computer viruses out there. Anyway, I am back and better than ever! NOTE: Results may vary in regards to me being "better".

Earlier this week I actually got a haircut. I no longer look like Cousin It's hairier brother, so that's a bummer. On the upside, I can actually see now so I think I made the right decision to get a haircut. :-P

I also went to see a couple of movies this week that I enjoyed a lot. I went to see "Clash of the Titans" (in 2D) and "Kick-Ass". Both movies were very good. I actually enjoyed "Kick-Ass" more but I've been a big fan of the comic since it came out. "Kick-Ass" lived up to the hype and more. I hope I can say the same thing about "Iron Man 2" soon, only time will tell.

I'm really looking forward to the last episode of "Lost" coming at the end of May. I will be sad when it ends as well, but after six years and more questions than answers, the resolution of the heroes and villains of "Lost" is something I have been looking forward to for quite some time. The last few seasons of "Lost" have been a great return to form. After an incredible first season, a good but not great second season, and a so-so third season, I was about to give up on the show (like a lot of people did). I never really loved the long story arc featuring the Others. Most of those characters were so unlikable that it made the show very hard to muscle through at times. Thankfully, season 4 was a vast improvement over season 3. The story went a different and more interesting direction. Season 5 actually topped season 4 as "Lost" successfully included a season long arc that was heavy on science fiction. Season 6, at least so far, looks to give the first season a run for it's money as the best season of the show. This season's success (and perhaps the shows overall success) will rest on the strength of the finale.

I also just saw the trailer of the upcoming J.J. Abrams and Steven Spielberg film "Super 8". The movie looks promising and I look forward to finding out more about this top secret movie. The trailer doesn't reveal much but perhaps that isn't such a bad thing. Plus, any movie that features a story by J.J. Abrams and the great Steven Spielberg is at least worth a watch.

For those of you who don't know me well, I am a movie memorabilia collector. I love movie posters and I own a lot of original movie posters, both new and vintage. I have been studying movie posters for a while now (I know, sounds funny, but I can now tell the differences between original movie posters and reprints and reproductions). I know what to look for and the differences that movie posters have went through over the ages. There are a couple of original movie posters I look for on E-Bay every now and then like "Superman: The Movie" in hopes that I can pick one up for a reasonable price. lol

On a fun note, I've had a sore throat this past week and I've been hardly able to speak for the past couple of days. It hasn't been fun for me, but I'm sure it's been fun for my family and my friends. lol I'm sure one of them has prayed for this day to happen. I hope my sore throat clears up shortly and allows me to talk for more than a minute without my voice fading. lol

Well, I better get going. It's getting late and I'm sure my life has bored you long enough. lol Take care everyone!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

April Fools' Day and 3D

Hello again world! I know you must have missed me. Anyway, I am back and better than ever. Sort of a Jeffrey version 2.0 if you will.

Today is April 1st 2010, or April's Fools' Day. Let me start by saying that I HATE this holiday. I don't see the purpose of a day dedicated solely to lying and it's getting to the point that even news sites want to have fake "April Fools' Day" stories. I like to read news online because it is easier and cheaper, but I always avoid news websites on April 1st each year because I don't want to read fake news articles. If I wanted to be fed news that was completely made up, I'd just flip on Fox News. Seriously folks, what is the point is this holiday? Don't people lie and joke around enough without an entire day dedicated to it! The worst part is that most of the "April Fools' Day" articles/jokes aren't even funny! Most of them are just horrible, and I know about bad jokes, that's right, I actually saw "Delta Farce" in theaters. What holiday is going to be next? National Pick Your Nose Day? (Note: I may be on to something there). I was taught as a child NOT to fib or bend the truth. Thank the Lord we have a holiday that teaches kids that it's cool if you lie to everyone, just as long as it's once a year on April 1st.

Moving along, "Clash of the Titans" opens this week in theaters and I really want to see it. Sam Worthington, Ralph Fiennes, and Liam Neeson all look great in this movie and the original had a decent story but left something to be desired due to special effects and the film's pacing. This remake doesn't seem to have that problem thankfully. The film is going to be released in 2D and 3D and I am not sure which format I will be seeing it in (although I am very much leaning towards watching the 2D version for cost reasons). I also don't love the idea that almost every movie coming out in the next few years is going to be in 3D. Sure, I enjoyed "Avatar" and I do think the fact that it was in 3D helped make the film slightly more enjoyable, but it was a good movie regardless if it was 2D or 3D and not every movie will benefit from 3D technology. I hardly see why "Yogi Bear" or "The Smurfs" need to be in 3D. Do I need to sense that Yogi is stealing MY picnic basket? I don't know about you, but that would annoy me. I don't need some computer animated, sarcastic bear stealing MY food. My ancestors didn't fight in the American Revolution for that! Also, "The Smurfs" in 3D would just seem like a kids friendly sequel to "Avatar". It's bad enough that because of digital technology, such as Blu-ray players, I can now see people's warts and moles in digital clarity, I don't need these same warts and moles attacking because of 3D technology! Plus, thanks to 3D technology, there is a good chance we may get to see Larry the Cable Guy's butt coming at us! That's a scary thought ladies and gentlemen.

Seriously, a few films in 3D are okay. I can see "Green Lantern", "Star Trek 2.0", and "Superman Returns Yet Again" all being fun films to see in 3D. I'm sure there are guys that would love to see "Baywatch" in 3D as well. (Note: Seeing at how pointless that show was, 3D might be the best route for the big screen adaption). I don't think "Being Marlon Brando's Stomach" or "Poop Goes the Weasel" (a big hit with 3 year olds) needs the 3D treatment. (Note: I made up those last two movies but I would be more than willing to write a script for either movie if any studio is interested). In all seriousness, I really hope Hollywood stops with the 3D movie trend. Not every movie is "Avatar" or "Alice in Wonderland" and I really don't want to have to start paying more to see a movie especially if I'm not even sure it's going to be good!

Well, enough of me for today. I hope you enjoyed and hopefully laughed a little bit at this blog. Take care everyone and be safe! :)

Monday, March 22, 2010


Hello again everyone! It's me again, your friendly neighbor blogger. Scratch that, friendly neighborhood blogger sounds like something gross I don't want to be. I guess I'll just have to be happy being me, good old Jeffrey.

Anyway, as some of you may or may not know, I collect movie memorabilia and toys. Today's blog will focus on my toy collection. I know I'm not five years old anymore, but I'm still a Toys 'R' Us kid, so lay off. lol Seriously though, I just enjoy collecting toys, I don't know why, but I'm not going to fight it. It's not the worst thing a person can do and I am certainly not alone. Plus, some toys really go up in value. My dad collected old toys, mainly models and die-cast cars. I collect mainly action figures and movie related cars (from models to die-cast cars).

Anyway, one of the toy lines I've been trying to collect all of is the Star Wars concept figures. Hasbro has been making them here and there since 2007 and some of them have been exclusives (such as the concept versions of General Grievous, C-3P0, R2-D2, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda, and Luke Skywalker). I have most of them from the 2007 set and I want to finish the collection. Most of the figures are based on the early works of Ralph McQuarrie. I love these figures because it's almost like a piece of movie history brought to life. The funny thing is that I really don't love collecting Star Wars toys. Hasbro keeps reissuing the same toys over and over again. How many Jar Jar Binks figures does one man need anyway? I do love the concept toys and I think those figures maybe among the few Star Wars toys that may go up in value.

Sorry this blog wasn't funny today, I just thought I'd give you readers an idea of what I blow my money on. Take care everyone and I hope you keep safe! :)

Sony Entertainment Is Evil

Hello again all my blog readers! Who am I kidding, there are literally negative amounts of people reading my blog. I don't see how that's possible but it is. Anyway, if you are one of the lucky few people to actually read my blog, you rock and roll! Seriously, take a look around, if you see anyone else, just know that you are better than them simply because you are reading my super cool kick ass blog. If there isn't anyone else around, call a friend and make sure you let them know that a guy by the name of Jeff Stansberry thinks you are better than him/her. If by some weird miracle you two are both reading my blog, just know that you are both better than Carrot Top, although you already stood a 99.9999% chance of being better than him even before reading this blog. Still, you are super duper awesome in my book so that counts for something! :)

Anyway, I was reading a news article about Sony Entertainment that really bugged me. Columbia Pictures (a division of Sony Entertainment) is having second thoughts about having Ivan Reitman direct "Ghostbusters III", even though they already inked a deal for him to return. The buzz is that Sony really wants a younger director for "Ghostbusters III" to give it a younger and hipper vibe. This is beginning to sound like the whole "Spider-Man" 4/reboot mess all over again. "Ghostbusters" and even it's sequel are considered classic films to many people. I grew up watching the "Ghostbusters" films and their animated adventures in the classic cartoon "The Real Ghostbusters". I owned many of the toys (I still do) and I even own the "Ghostbusters" theme song on CD. If you go on E-Bay, Ghostbusters items are still selling like hot cakes and the recent "Ghostbusters: The Video Game" was a huge success. Clearly, people still love the Ghostbusters the way they are. So why does Sony feel the need to change everything? Change can be good, no one is knocking change, but not all change is for the better. Making "Ghostbusters III" feel younger and hipper just seems unnecessary to me. Ivan Reitman directed "Ghostbusters" and "Ghostbusters 2", he clearly knows what he's doing. Sure, a younger director may end up making a great Ghostbusters film, but he may also screw it up. Plus, it's very stupid on Sony's part to even consider replacing Ivan Reitman as the director considering he can personally kill the film if he wishes.

In case you are wondering what I am talking about, let me explain. When the original "Ghostbusters" film was being made, Columbia Pictures inked a deal for future sequels should the film become a hit. As we all know, "Ghostbusters" and "Ghostbuster 2" were huge hits for the studio hence the desire to make a "Ghostbusters III". However, the contracts for Ivan Reitman, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, and Harold Ramis (the original director and the principal cast) allow any one of them to single handedly veto and kill any future sequels they don't like. Why would Sony risk having the project killed just so they can have their way? Probably because they are stupid bird brains (or evil, I haven't decided yet). Sony may indeed be evil, and I'm talking super evil, like Jay Leno or Paris Hilton evil, so be warned before going to see another Columbia/Tri-Star/Sony picture.

Why does Sony feel they have to target young audiences to go see all their upcoming films? When will Sony learn that every movie doesn't and shouldn't be marketed to tweens? I have no problem with tween films, Summit can make as many "Twilight" films as they want for all I care, but every movie doesn't and shouldn't be modeled after "Twilight". Does Sony honestly think that the female audience that went crazy and fell in love with "Twilight" are going to fall in love with "Spider-Man Version 2.0" or "Ghostbusters III"? I realize that Sony wants to get as many butts in the seats as possible when people go to see their films, but they aren't going to get people seeing their films when they are gearing them for the wrong audiences. I loved "Spider-Man 1-3" (yes, even the third one) and I loved "Ghostbusters 1-2", I don't love "Twilight" though. I'm not knocking it either, the books and films aren't geared for me. That's the thing though, I'm not dying to see "The Twilight Saga: Spider-Man Dawn". You know what I do want to see? That's right, "Spider-Man 4". I don't want to have to choose between Team Spider-Man and Team Green Goblin. Sony is losing their core audiences for their films by trying to cater to a different fan base that probably won't care for their new slate of films. Sony executives, here is a tip for you, leave your films alone. Until the day you Sony executives write a film or direct one, let the creative people make the movies and also make you money and leave them to make the movies, they are in good hands!

Anyway, sorry for the rant. Sony and NBC have just been really bugging me lately. I can't believe how out of touch some of the studio executives are getting. Peace out everyone and take care! :)

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

He-Man: Not the Brightest Dude In Greyskull

Hello again everyone! I'm back to spread more wisdom across this land! I'm feeling good today. I've been catching up on "Lost" and "Caprica" and it's a beautiful day outside. It's hard to top a day like today. :)

So, I should probably start by telling you the subject of this post is going to be about He-Man. My oldest brother used to love the cartoon show "Masters of the Universe" when he was a kid. I, on the other hand, never cared to much for it. I don't know why, maybe Skeletor reminded me of a poor man's Crypt Keeper, I just never got into it. Anyway, He-Man (aka Prince Adam) was the main character in the hit cartoon classic "Masters of the Universe". Prince Adam would transform into He-Man and no one in the whole flipping planet of Eternia could figure out that Prince Adam and He-Man were one in the same even though they looked exactly the same! I mean, even Superman wore classes, changed his posture, and modified his speech patterns some to fool people into thinking he was the mild mannered Clark Kent. Not Prince Adam, he just wears less clothes as He-Man. Did He-Man have a part time job as an exotic dancer or something? I mean, come on, the dude wore furry underwear! Why? To protect him in battle? I know if I were going into battle knowing that my enemies were going to be swinging swords and axes at me, I'd want armor protecting me, not furry underoos, especially in that area! Prince Adam was clearly far from a master of disguise. Having Dolph Lundgren portray the role in the film version of "Masters of the Universe" certainly didn't help make He-Man seem even remotely intelligent.

On a side note, it looks like Nick Jones has landed himself a juicy cameo in the upcoming "Green Lantern" film. It seems that his cameo role will be of John Stewart, a man who later becomes a Green Lantern himself in the comics. Congratulations Nick Jones and I wish you all the best.

Well, that's all for me for now. I hope everyone has a good day and be safe everyone! Please, come back to this blog often, I'm begging you! :-P


Hello again everyone! Sorry for the delay in posting a new blog but I've been busy on other things on the computer today, and by busy, I mean spending time on E-Bay. :-P So anyway, I hope you enjoy my newest post!

I like keeping up to date on what is going on in Hollywood, as many of you probably have figured out, so I was very pleased to hear that "Green Lantern" officially started filming today. Green Lantern has become my favorite comic book hero, so when I first heard that DC and Warner Bros. gave Green Lantern the green light, I flipped out. "Green Lantern" already has a fine cast in place including Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard, Mark Strong, Temuera Morrison, Jay O. Sanders, Taika Cohen, Jenna Craig, and Tim Robbins. It will be directed by James Bond veteran Martin Campbell (Casino Royale, GoldenEye, The Mask of Zorro, The Legend of Zorro, Edge of Darkness). It is set to be filmed in 3D (which will be a rant for another day) for a release date next summer. I am very excited about this film and I hope it turns out good!

On a sad note, Peter Graves passed away last night. I loved the original "Mission: Impossible" series that he starred in from season 2 on. I also loved his comedic performance in the comedy classic "Airplane!". I will miss him as an actor and I hope he finds peace on the other side.

Now onto another subject, the stupidity of NBC. Everyone who knows me can tell you that I have been very vocal about my distaste for NBC and how they handled the Jay Leno/Conan O'Brien situation. Conan O'Brien should have kept "The Tonight Show" and Jay Leno should have been sent packing. His show, the now canceled "Jay Leno Show", was the main problem with NBC's late night line up and it was Leno who should have been shown the door, not Conan O'Brien. Yes, I know Conan O'Brien's ratings were not fantastic either, but a large part of that had to do with having Jay Leno as a lead in show. Jay Leno's ratings when he first started "The Tonight Show" weren't a lot better than Conan O'Brien's ratings, and he did not have to compete with an established late night show like Conan O'Brien did. When Leno started on "The Tonight Show", Letterman's "The Late Show" had not even premiered. Leno took over "The Tonight Show" in 1992 while Letterman's "The Late Show" premiered in 1993. Conan O'Brien already had his work cut out for him. I truly believe (along with the other members of Team Coco) that had Conan O'Brien been allowed to stay on "The Tonight Show" longer, he would have dominated the late night ratings.

I seriously don't understand what NBC's malfunction is. I just read recently that they are interested in picking up the long running series "24" should Fox decide not to renew it. Now, I have no beef with "24", it's always had a solid cast, from Kiefer Sutherland to Katee Sackhoff, but it has not been doing well in the ratings for the past couple of years. Does NBC really need another show that no one watches anymore? Besides, I think Fox has the right idea with ending "24" this season and trying to start a film franchise out of it with Kiefer Sutherland again in the lead role. Sorry NBC, but "24" can't solve your ratings problem.

I honestly wonder if NBC is run by monkeys. I am seriously starting to think they have no idea what people want or how to market what they already have. I personally believe that if the executives of NBC had been in charge of marketing the film "2001: A Space Odyssey" back in 1968, they would have found a way to screw it up. I could just see the NBC executives putting together what little brain power they have and coming up with a special sneak preview event for "2001: A Space Odyssey". Their genius idea, screen the first ten minutes of the film to audiences around the world. Then they would wonder why everyone thinks "2001: A Space Odyssey" is a film about monkeys throwing poop at each other. Oh yeah, I bet you didn't know that the monkeys at the beginning of the film "2001: A Space Odyssey" would later become the same executives at NBC! It's funny how things work that way.

Anyway, enough of me for now. I do hope you enjoy my little rants. I hope you have a good day and take care everyone! :)

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Jar Jar Binks Should Be Pushing Daisies

Hello again everyone! Welcome back to my blog. Once again, I am sitting here bored out of my mind and wondering what to do next and what to write about on my blog. I hope my latest post entertains you, even for a little bit, because I am making this up as I go along!

Earlier this week, I went by my local library and rented a few DVDs. I love our library, it was books, CDs, DVDs, and now even has Blu-rays to rent. Anyway, I rented the last disc of "Pushing Daisies" season 2 and the complete first season of "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" (the new CGI version still running on Cartoon Network). I really enjoyed the show "Pushing Daisies", it's a shame it was canceled before it was finished. Luckily, Bryan Fuller is hard at working on a graphic novel to wrap up the shows loose ends. Chi McBride, who played the role of Emerson Cod on "Pushing Daisies" and is currently co-starring in the delightful new show "Human Target", has seen a few pages of the "Pushing Daisies" graphic novel already and states that it is "off the hook". Chi McBride is a great actor and he picks great material to work on, so if he's sold on it, I am as well. Hopefully it will be released soon.

Now, let me move onto "Star Wars: The Clone Wars". I had seen the CGI movie in theaters in 2008 and left the theater with mixed feelings about it. I am a huge science fiction fan and I love the classic "Star Wars" films and I even found the prequel trilogy enjoyable to a point. Now, I do admit that I am a bigger "Star Trek" fan than I am a "Star Wars" fan, but "Star Wars" will always have a soft spot in my heart as well. The movie "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" was released in 2008 during one of the biggest years for films in history. It was an enjoyable enough movie, especially considering it was a actually a kids movie. The main problem I had with it was it's time setting. It seemed to take place somewhere in between the previous "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" series (the hand drawn version which came out before "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith". Also, it would be hard to follow this new Clone Wars series without having seen the previous Clone Wars series.

Anyway, onto the actual "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" TV show. The show takes place after the Clone Wars movie and has a very similar style. I actually think it works better since it's more of an anthology series and it also seems to work better for the period the Clone Wars takes place in. My main problem with the series was one of the biggest problems with the prequel movies, Jar Jar Binks. Now to be fair, Jar Jar Binks isn't in most of the episodes. I think he was in four of the twenty-two episodes. The problem is, four was enough. The first Jar Jar Binks episode featured Ahmed Best reprising his voice role of Jar Jar Binks. The episode got annoying quickly. Things got worse however, Jar Jar Binks was annoying enough when Ahmed Best voiced the role in the prequel movies and on the first Clone Wars episode, but Jar Jar Binks was even more annoying (if that's possible) when B.J. Hughes took over the role and it sounded like Jar Jar Binks was doing a bad Jar Jar Binks impersonation (if that makes any sense). All in all though, "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" was fairly entertaining, there just isn't much to it besides mindless fun.

Well, that's it for me for the moment. I'm sure I will have more to rant soon. Take care everyone and be safe! :)

Saturday, March 13, 2010

What's In A Name?

Welcome back everyone to the most happening blog yet! I'm not actually sure what is happening at the moment, but something is happening, that's for sure! Anyway, the topic of the moment is names in general.

My name is Jeffrey Stansberry and I actually like my name unlike some people. I do sometimes sit and wonder to myself what my pen name might be if I ever became a paid writer. I'm not sure if I'd use my actual name or not (for various reasons). That caused me to think of what other actors have done to their names to change them or make them more unique. This got me thinking of the actors Liam Neeson and Topher Grace. As many of you might be able to figure out, Liam is the last part of Mr. Neeson's actual first name, William. Also, Topher is the last part of Mr. Grace's actual first name, Christopher. So, in the proud tradition of Liam Neeson and Topher Grace, I could change my name to Frey Stansberry. The problem is, that name would make me sound like a free fruit sample Wal-Mart gives out on aisle 3. I guess just using my actual name wouldn't be all that bad. After all, to quote that Shakespeare character, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet".

Speaking of that, I could totally see Hollywood remaking "Romeo and Juliet" again and renaming it something like "Romeo and Toliet" Troma Entertainment already made "Tromeo and Juliet" so it could happen. Just think of the improvements that could be made to Shakespeare's classic using state of the art CGI. The Capulet family could now be giant alien toilets the way Shakespeare originally intended! (Note: I may have dreamed Shakespeare told me that, I am not 100% on that). I can just see Toliet now, "A nose by any other dame would smell ass sweat." That is about as romantic as you can get!

Thank you for once again checking out my blog! Take care everyone and be safe this fine day. :)

The Evolution of Rocks

Hello again everyone! I have more random thoughts for my kind followers! As the title of this blog might suggest, my new blog is about the subject of evolution and rocks. Now I know some of you out there don't believe in evolution, but you might change your mind upon reading my thoughts on the matter.

Rocks don't seem like much on the surface. There is nothing much to them except that they are hard and villagers can throw them at Frankenstein and other Universal Studios monsters. Rocks, in general, stayed that way for years. That was until 1975, the year in which a man named Gary Dahl met the first intelligent rock and made first contact. The rock's name was Brainiac and he led Gary Dahl to his tribe. Brainiac's rock tribe was wild and untamed. Gary Dahl decided to take it upon himself to capture, train, and domesticate these wild rocks and sell them to people as a few kind of pet. Dubbed "The Pet Rock", Gary Dahl made millions of dollars on these new advanced rock life forms. These rocks even had a pedigree (at least that is what the pet carrier they were sold in stated)! If that isn't proof of evolution, I don't know what is. Still need more proof? I've got you covered on that front as well. One of the advanced rocks born in 1972 even became a famous actor and adobted a human name. His name used to simply be The Rock before changing it to Dwayne Johnson to fit into our world. Ironically, he ended up playing a new Universal Studio monster, that of The Scorpion King, so angry villagers might actually end up throwing his relatives at him! That has to stink.

So there you go, proof of evolution without all those boring facts and pesky scientific data. Aren't you glad that I'm around to teach you! Take care everyone and continue to be safe! :)

Friday, March 12, 2010

Rick Ashtley Vs. Ivan Drago

Hello again everyone! Like so many of you out there in cyberspace, I love surfing YouTube. YouTube offers a wide variety of video clips to enjoy. From music videos to movie trailers to home videos of guys sitting on the toilet, YouTube has a little something for everyone. Unfortunately, I, like so many other people, have been the victim of rickrolling. What is rickrolling you might ask? It's an old bait and switch technique on YouTube in which you go looking for a video (such as puppies joining the CIA) and upon clicking on the video you wanted to see, you are instead greeted by the the unholy video of Rick Ashtley and his "hit" song "Never Gonna Give You Up".

How exactly did Rick Ashtley get a recording contract anyway? I mean, I guess I can understand to a degree. The man is hilarious to watch. Seriously, watch the music video to "Never Gonna Give You Up" and try not laughing at the way he dances. I think it's been scientifically proven to be impossible. Rick Ashtley is most likely the reason why everyone thinks white men can't dance. I honestly thought the poor man was having a seizure during the music video. Plus, he kept smiling during the video and it got to the point that it started to get creepy. Last but not least, the trench coat he was wearing throughout most of the music video was not helping his case. I half expected him to flash someone midway through the video.

The music video is funny for a completely different reason as well, and that is because of all the celebrity look-alikes. Rick Ashtley looks a lot like David Caruso circa 1987. I'm sure the "CSI: Miami" star loves the fact the Rick Ashtley could be his brother. The background dancers also look like (B) movie stars! The bartender reminds me of Hollywood Montrose (Meshach Taylor) from "Mannequin" and "Mannequin: On the Move". Then we have my favorite celebrity look-alike, that of the blond guy who looks like a less buff version of Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren) from "Rocky IV". Perhaps it was old Ivan Drago. My guess is that after Rocky Balboa defeated him, Drago had to leave Russia in disgrace. When he arrived in America, he stopped working out and decided to create a new dance style. He wanted to mix voguing with Riverdance to create the ultimate dance style. He teamed up with Rick Ashtley and unleashed his new dance (dubbed "Dance, Dance Revolution") on the world, only to find out that he was upstaged by Hollywood Montrose. Poor Ivan Drago, he never catches a break.

So yeah, that was my rant of the day. Thank you everyone for reading and I hope you enjoy! Take care and be safe everyone! :)

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Friday Night Cold Sweat

Hello again everyone! Did you miss me? Of course you did! Well, I'm back to talk about more random things. Enjoy! :-P

As anyone reading my blog probably already knows, I am a huge film buff. I have hundreds of movie posters in addition to owning original movie props. I love films new and old. One of my mom's favorite movies is "Saturday Night Fever". What many of you may or may not know is that film actually had a sequel entitled "Staying Alive". The film featured John Travolta reprising his famed role of Tony Mamero under the direction of Sylvester Stallone and it was a stinker. "Saturday Night Fever" was such an iconic film, it's sad that the sequel missed the mark so badly. This got me thinking though, why not make another sequel? Sure, Hollywood is roboot/remake crazy now, but they are reboot crazy for newer movies (such as Hulk, Spider-Man, Daredevil, Fantastic Four, Superman, ect.). Older movies that actually might benefit from a remake, on the other hand, are being granted sequels. Examples of this includes "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps" and "Tron Legacy". So why not give another sequel to "Saturday Night Fever"? Paramount could even make a prequel with a different actor and entitle it something like "Friday Night Cold Sweat". That sounds like the perfect direct-to-DVD project for Paramount! :-P

Well, I better get going. Take care everyone and have fun!

Pop Culture Junkie

Hello yet again everyone! I swear that I usually don't write this much but today is special. Why? I have no idea but I'm awake and bored. That should be reason enough for anyone.

Anyway, I decided to post a little bit more about myself. I am a huge pop culture junkie. I love movies, television shows, and music. I write a lot and I am hoping to make it as a writer soon (fingers crossed). I have even performed a few times at open mic nights at comedy clubs here in Michigan. Now, I know what you're thinking, you're thinking "but you don't need to be talented to perform at open mic nights." This is true. Trust me, I know that for a fact. After listening to people perform tired and old rountines or flat out bad routines, it's easy to figure out why people don't take open mic nights seriously. I like to think I was pretty good though. Needless to say, that got me nowhere. I'm hoping this blog might help me get some attention. Who doesn't love attention, right?

Anyway, I just finished watching the film "Defiance" today. I thought it was pretty good and it looked great on Blu-ray. Liev Schreiber was fantastic in the film. Liev Schreiber is a grat actor and it's hard to believe he hasn't been given a big lead role yet. He was the best part of "X-Men Origins: Wolverine". Stealing the spotlight from Hugh Jackman and his portrayal of Wolverine isn't an easy task either. Give this man the lead in a movie already! (If he wants it that is). The only problem I have with Liev Schreiber is that Microsoft Word Processor keeps arguing with me about what his name is. I type in Liev and it keeps correcting me without asking and replaces Liev with Live. His name isn't Live Schreiber! It's Liev, I even double checked! Take that Microsoft! :-P

Well, I'm getting tired so I'll probably head to bed. Take care everyone!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Hollywood News

Hello again everyone! It seems like just minutes ago since I posted my last blog. (Note: It may very well have been minutes ago). Anyway, I wanted to pass along the sad news of Corey Haim's passing to anyone living under a rock. I will miss Corey Haim and I hope he finds peace in the afterlife.

In happier Hollywood news, the new trailer for Ridley Scott's latest epic "Robin Hood" has hit the net right on the heels of the fantastic new "Iron Man 2" trailer. Both movies look great and I am eagerly looking forward to them both. I'm hoping Ridley Scott's latest crusades epic will be in the same vain of his most underrated film to date, "Kingdom of Heaven". Though I'm sure that casting Russell Crowe as Robin Hood is an attempt to mix "Kingdom of Heaven" with his most acclaimed film yet, "Gladiator". I'll be there on or around May 14th! :)

In other recent news, I just learned that Spider-Man no longer has Wood for Mary Jane Watson! lol I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself there. It seems that Evan Rachel Wood has left Julie Taymor's Broadway production of "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark". Evan Rachel Wood was cast in the lead female role of Mary Jane Watson, a role played by Kirsten Dunst in the movies. The band U2 has created several musical pieces for the Broadway production.

Spider-Man has had nothing but problems recently. In the comic world, he just lost his job like so many of us in real life. In the film universe, Tobey Maguire has been let go in favor of a "High School Musical" meets "Spider-Man" reboot. I guess Sony doesn't realize that we all saw that movie ten years ago when it was called "Spider-Man". I already paid to see that once, sorry Sony. At least Spider-Man got to hang out with President Obama recently. I guess he has had some luck.

Well, I'm done ranting for now. Take care everyone and be safe! :)


Hello kind and cruel cyber world! I have finally decided to create a blog in hopes that someone will actually read my insane rants. Okay, let me start by saying that I am not actually insane. I am also not "insane in the membrane" as the kids (in the early '90s) say. I am (semi) normal but I do love to talk about random subjects and I love to talk about stupid things.

Let me start you off with an example of my randomness. I started talking about the '90s a second ago. I grew up in that time period and let me tell you, I do miss it. It was a simpler time (at least for me). Turtles were huge and could talk, kick-ass, and eat pizza. Teenagers with attitudes could morph and become power rangers with cheap costumes. Chipmunks could sing and flirt with human women with no one questioning their motives. Mutants could kick ass in animated progams such as "Toxic Crusaders" and "X-Men". Batman changed his face almost every movie (see Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, and George Clooney) before Christian Bale became the new iconic Dark Knight. Last but not least, you knew that any movie starring Shaq (aka Shaquille O'Neal) was doomed to stink monkey butt. As you can tell, it was a time of moral goodness and innocence (for me that is). Sadly, that time has passed.

Theses past few years have been hard on me (and for a lot of other people as well). I've had a lot of hardships befall me and it's been hard to overcome them. Still, I stay (perhaps foolishly) optimistic as I watch times change and myself grow older (yikes). I find the best way to combat these dark times is with a sense of humor. It also helps me that I have a vibrant and odd imagination.

On the subject of my imagination, I can't help but wonder how things in the '90s would have been if they were made now in the '00s. Would 'New Kids on the Block' have been 'New Kids on the Blog'? Would "Apollo 13" have been "Snakes on an Apollo Shuttle"? Sadly, this decade has been remake/reboot crazy in Hollywood so a "Snakes on an Apollo Shuttle" reboot may not be far off.

With those statements alone, you should notice that I tend to be a very random and odd person. I hope you continue to view my blog and and I hope you enjoy reading my very random posts. Thank you very much for your time and have a good day! :)